No matter how long you and your spouse have been together or how strong you consider your relationship to be, you may still have communication issues. Yes, there are common communication issues that surface in every relationship at one point or another. Check out the following ways to communicate more effectively with your partner.
1Be An Active Listener
Each person carries a lot on a daily basis. Consider how many fears, thoughts, resentments, passions, and problems we all take each day. That's why we need a release that lessens the load, and we should analyze those feelings and thoughts. Recognizing this need is your key to learning how to listen to your spouse.
Listen without judgment. A person will not share what's on their mind unless they feel accepted and safe from negative rebuffing. Realize that your spouse may want you to listen to them without seeking a solution. They may want advice, but more often than not, people just need to vent. If you are actively listening, you will be able to gauge whether they are seeking solutions or just an ear to listen.
Be interested and sympathetic. This is, after all, your spouse, and everything that concerns them should concern you. Discern what you would want if the roles were reversed and engage yourself as the best listener there is.
2Get Them To Listen To You
It can be one of the most infuriating and disappointing issues to face when your spouse just doesn't listen to what you have to say. After all, we all want to be heard! Be aware of your overdramatic attitude or nagging. Though you may not even recognize that you do it, if you're frustrated, the chances are that you do. Your spouse won't respect these tactics, and they are more apt to turn off their listening altogether.
So ask why. Tell your spouse that you feel unheard and ask them why that is. Do not be confrontational; that's not the point here. Sometimes, people are so wrapped up in their own daily issues that they don't even realize that they aren't listening to you. Make them aware and let them know just how much you want to share your thoughts and feelings.
Be prepared to compromise. Give your spouse some slack by compromising to help engage them more. For example, schedule a time every night for you to tell them about whatever's on your mind so their full attention can be focused on you during that time. In time, your spouse will learn to listen without an appointment!
3Express Your Feelings Respectfully
Sometimes, when we are angry, hurt, or experiencing any other heightened feelings toward our spouse, we are unable to express our feelings respectfully. The pain or anger speaks for us, and we end up saying things that hurt them and worsening the situation. So take a breath before you voice out your concern or issue. There's no point in saying something that you'll only regret a few minutes later.
Have a rough plan of how to say what you want to say without calling your spouse names or placing undue blame on them. When you do this, your spouse will be less likely to get defensive. Moreover, he'll possibly be more willing to listen and work things out with you.
4Build Trust Between Both Of You
Building trust is something that begins at the onset of a relationship. Whether you have a new relationship or have to rebuild lost trust, this bonding requires the right actions. Be honest. Above all else, you have to be honest with your spouse about your intentions, actions, and your daily rights and wrongs. Trying to hide something in mistruth sets you up for inevitable trouble.
Consider what's at stake. Remind yourself about what you have to lose if you do not honor the trust your spouse has for you. This will aid you to act accordingly and will help you build and maintain trust in your relationship.
Wait it out. Whether you are in a new relationship or are in a long-term one that needs repair, building trust takes time. Time will reveal whether you are a trustworthy person or not.
Be honest, and in time, you will win your spouse's trust. Communicating with your spouse may not always be easy. However, if you follow these tips consistently, you will be rewarded with a closer relationship, less stress, and greater happiness.