You've been in your relationship for quite some time. Things have changed recently, and you're beginning to doubt that it's going to last much longer. You're not even sure how you got to this point! What happened?
There are many warning signs that a relationship is breaking down. Think back over the last few months, and you may recognize some of these signs:
Unnecessary criticism - where your partner blames you or attacks your character.
Contempt - when nearly everything your partner says is a complaint or an insult.
Avoidance - when your partner has begun ignoring or avoiding you.
Being defensive - when you don't listen to what your partner says for fear of being hurt or them lashing out at you again.
Two or more of these warning signs could signal that it's time to move on, but how do you do that?
First, realize that the end of any relationship is similar to dealing with the loss of a loved one. You may go through the grieving process: denial, anger, ambivalence, depression, and recovery. This is normal and to be expected. Give yourself some time to grieve, and you'll come out a stronger person on the other side. Learn these 10 tips to survive a breakup and move on.
1It's Over, Accept It
Realize and learn to accept that the relationship is over. Don't hold on when there's nothing to hold on to. Accept that it's over and try not to dwell too much about it.
2Put Away Any Reminders Of Him/Her
Don't keep sentimental items - they'll only make you miserable. Put away valuable items, such as jewelry or other gifts, rather than throwing them away. You may want to remove those items in the future.
3Keep Your Distance
It is okay to keep your distance if it hurts. If seeing your ex hurts, make it a point to avoid the person. Sometime in the future, you may become friends, but now is not the time to try.
4Don't Make Financial Decisions Yet
Avoid making financial decisions right after a breakup. Your emotions may cause you to make emotional decisions. It's better to wait until you have emotionally-stable footing.
5Avoid Rushing Into A New Relationship
Give yourself time to heal from being hurt before opening your heart again. Rushing into a new relationship to forget your ex will be unfair to the other person. Moreover, rebound relationships rarely succeed and are unhealthy.
6Give Time To Focus On Yourself Again
You may have spent so much time investing in the other person that you've let your own needs go. Learn to find out about yourself again. What do you like to do that you haven't been doing? Do something special just for you!
7Start New Interests And Experiences
Now is a great time to start something new. Renew your interests in hobbies that you like, and spend time exploring new creative outlets. Maybe you've always wanted to learn rock climbing, but your ex was afraid of heights. There's no reason to wait any longer. Go find an instructor and hit that mountain!
8Go Out And Meet People
It's important that you spend time with friends who can encourage you and help you feel good about yourself. Staying at home will only make you think a lot about the breakup. Yes, you will need time alone, but if you isolate yourself, then you won't be able to fully process your feelings or get the support you need to heal.
Be friendly with people you find attractive. Smile, say hello, and act interested. You may not be ready to jump right back into a relationship, but you can always leave the door open for future relationships.
9Start Work Your Way Back To Dating Slowly
You may want to start by double dating with a friend. Be upfront with your date, so they know what to expect. Keeping the dating more casual at first might be wise, rather than jumping right into a deep, meaningful, long-term relationship.
Breaking up from a long-term relationship is never easy. Everybody knows it hurts. You can move on in your love life after a break up if you recognize the end, and then follow the 9 steps given above. Soon, you'll find that you're over your last relationship and ready for someone new.