Do you ever feel like your partner doesn't understand you? Has there been a change in your communication level in recent months? If you've been experiencing either of these problems, it may help to know that you're not alone. In fact, a lack of communication between partners is often one of the top reasons for breakups, but there's hope! You can learn how to communicate effectively with your partner.
It's just that most people don't have any idea what it takes to have effective communication. There's so much more to communication than merely talking. Effective communication includes nonverbal cues, like eye contact, body language, tone of voice, as well as the words you choose. Communication also includes being able to listen and actually hear what your partner is saying. Here are some great communication tips for you and your partner.
1Discuss Problems Appropriately
If arguing is a problem for you and your partner, you can turn the arguments into meaningful discussions with the right techniques. When you need to discuss an issue, set the right stage for effective communication by choosing a time when both of you are calm and in a good mood. Instead of both of you talking at the same time, only one person should be allowed to talk at a time.
While one person is talking, the other person should concentrate on listening and hearing what's actually being said. When you're finished with what you want to say, the other can then express his views about the situation. Remember to acknowledge your partner's feelings and concerns rather than putting him down for how he feels.
2Avoid Blame Or Accusations
Blaming or accusing may also be an issue that you have with your partner. You can both help alleviate this problem by using "I" messages rather than "you" messages. Starting a statement with "you always" will accomplish one thing and one thing only - you, your partner, or both of you will immediately become defensive.
Instead, use statements like "I feel" or "I think" to express your feelings without blaming your partner for doing or not doing something that you thought he should have. Here's an example - instead of saying, "You're never home in time for dinner," you could say, "I feel upset about having spent time preparing a meal and having to eat it alone." This way, your partner will know how you feel but would not feel that he is personally attacked.
3Listen Intently To Your Partner
You may feel like your partner doesn't listen. If so, consider a method of communicating called active listening; this is where one person talks, and then the other paraphrases what was said. After listening to the first partner, the second partner should ask, "Did I understand you correctly?" Then, the other paraphrases what he just heard.
You'll find that listening to each other might not even be the problem. It might be that one or both of you haven't actually understood what the other has said. Active listening will clarify your comprehension.
4Focus On One Topic At A Time
Some couples start out talking about which type of dog to get and end up arguing about where to send their children to college. Try to stick to one subject until the issue has been resolved, or you can agree to take a break from it. This can help you make decisions and reduce the amount of stress you may both feel while you're talking.
Effective communication with your partner is of the utmost importance if you want your relationship to last. You want to know that your partner hears you, understands you, and is there for you. Your partner needs to be able to convey to you his hopes, dreams, as well as his concerns.
If you take the time to learn how to communicate effectively with your partner, you'll enjoy greater happiness and success in your relationship. You'll begin to cherish each other more, so start following the tips in this article today!